Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
