Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
