hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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