Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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