why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
PANTIES FOUND
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