I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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