he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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