just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
