she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Randomize
