yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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