it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
