just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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