his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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