i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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