I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
