Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm always down for nudity.
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