How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
