C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
