This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I love how my cats smell like pot.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
