Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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