if you like me you must not know who I am
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
