I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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