he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
