Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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