Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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