she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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