My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Please don't give away my fajitas
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
