i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
