Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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