YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
