like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
it was like his penis was on wheels.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
