My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
