He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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