is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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