why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
