dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
