That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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