cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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