Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just had sex bonerless
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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