lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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