forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
