Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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