I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
honey bunches of taint.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
