hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
