Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
