You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
