I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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