Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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