This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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