At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
