dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
